Dear Bogart,

I feel your pain! These hu-
mans just don’t understand
that animals have feelings,
too!
I need to tell you right up-
front that I am a cat – with that
being said, I can relate to you
and your humans. My human
had the audacity to bring in a
cute (so they say) kitten a cou-
ple of weeks ago. I have been #1
on this farm for so many years,
I didn’t know there was such
a thing as a ‘cute kitten’ until
I heard them say that about
the one they brought in. They
tell me I have to be nice – HA!
They can’t tell me what to do.
Every chance I get, I tree the
kitten or pounce on him and
give him a good kicking. My
human doesn’t like that, so I
have to do it while she is in the
house or not watching us. She
tried to love on me last week,
but I gave her the cold shoulder
to show her how much pain I
was/am in.
When you figure out how
to get your human people to
love you as much as the silly
kittens, let me know. I am still
trying to figure out how to be
‘cute’ so I get all of the atten-
tion!

Signed,
~Deebes (the cat) from SW
Missouri
**********

Dear Deebes,
Wow. I learned something
new today. I thought kittens
were just a dog’s dilemma.But I have heard my humans
complaining about our indoor
cat’s behavior with the kit-
tens. Like me the indoor cat
(that’s what they actually call
him – ‘cat’) had the misfortune
of getting in the vehicle once
with them. We made a trip to
the vet and well lets just say,
there will be no baby Bogarts
in my future. Well the ‘cat’ had
to have the same thing done,
but I guess he’s pretending it
didn’t happen. Because Scrunt
(she was the scrawniest little
runt of the bunch when they
were born) has grown up quite
a bit and I guess if you’re into
cats she’s probably what they’d
call a pretty little thing. She
likes to hang out in the house.
But the ‘cat’ thinks it’s funny
to pick on her so he pretends
he’s still quite masculine and
tries to woo her with his ways.
I don’t think he’s very good at
it because Scrunt’s not falling
for it. She runs to the mom and
dad and they give her attention
and say things like ‘poor baby
is that big meanie picking on
you” and then ‘cat’ gets kicked
outside. So he’s been hanging
out a bunch with me lately.
We are both pretty fed up with
these kittens. They seem to get
all of the attention. The cat and
I were saying just the other
day, back when it was just the
two of us we had no problems.

He’d set on the inside of the pa-
tio door and watch me and I’d
set on the outside of the patio
door and watch him.
I’m beginning to think it’s all
my fault. If I hadn’t rescued
those baby kittens life would
be so much easier. I could eat
in peace, I wouldn’t be hav-
ing to console the cat over his
multiple rejections.
I think if you want more
attention from your humans
you’re going to have to do cre-
ative things. The cat and I are
currently trying to show our
humans how talented we are
by catching flies. It’s kind of
fun chasing them and it’s the
perfect weather too.
Oh, and whatever you do
– don’t let the kitten start
sleeping with you. Cat says
he’s had to find a new place to
sleep altogether now because
Scrunt just completely took
over the bed.

Best of luck from SW Ne-
braska,
Signed, ~My Name is NOT NO BOGART

Leave a Comment