Bogarts Baby Birthing Services

Well it’s been a long week at my house. And I’m in a little trouble. But to be fair so is the cat – AND she’s the one that started it. I guess I should begin by telling you that we have more kittens at our house. It was only a couple of months
ago that we had just three cats.
One indoor and two outdoors.
Well I saved the six babies and that made nine. But now we have 15.
Here’s what happened. On Thursday morning I walked around to the back patio to get a bite to eat when I heard something going on underneath my humans patio furniture. (By the way, I can’t sit on it anymore because they put covers over all of it – so actually the reason the cat and I are both in trouble is because
they didn’t want to share the nice cushions with us.) Anyway, back to my troubles. I went over to the furniture and crawled underneath the cover of the loveseat to see what was going on. The cat was laying there on the ground and she was having babies. I didn’t know what to do, I wanted to help. I started licking her, but this made her really angry.
Usually, when she’s mad at me she just hisses and swats.
But nope. She had to go and get us in trouble. She started screaming and growling really loudly. So loudly my human mom and kids came running out to see what was going on. I just kept trying to lick her to calm her down. Then the mom lifts up the chair and the kids get my name wrong again (it’s
not “NO Bogart”!) I just kept licking the crazy cat because I didn’t know what else to do and since she wasn’t leaving – she was really sending me a mixed
message.
Well I got chased out from under the patio furniture.
Since it was all kind of exciting I wanted to go back there. But my clever human kids tempted me with a hot dog and since they are pretty tasty I followed them – right into the bathroom in the house where they locked
me up.
Then the dad got called home from fishing and he came and I thought he was going to rescue me. I was so happy, I tried to show him our new babies, but he was grouchy and said I had to stay away. So he tied me to the basketball hoop with a rope. I think he’s forgotten that we play ball at the hoop with the boy. He didn’t tie the boy to it and he locked me in the bathroom, why does he get
treated so much better? The boy didn’t even try and help the cat. I was the one being nice! But the dad had a big talk with me and he told me that the reason I’m in trouble is “Bogart no woman ever said to a man, hey crawl in bed withme while I’m having a baby and lick my ears” he said this would make all women mad.
I’m glad to know it’s not just that ungrateful cat!

But the cat is in trouble too, I even overheard them talking about how she isn’t the brightest cat and having kittens three foot out the back door in the middle of the patio and under a chair was a bad thing to do. She wasn’t scared of me and
since I was just helping I don’t see why everyone got so upset.
Oh I keep forgetting. Don’t lick ears while having babies.
I haven’t been able to see the babies since they were born.
They have piled all of the other patio chairs around there and blocked me out. But I am keeping a close eye on things. I am now sleeping under the other
loveseat just a few feet away.
So you don’t have to worry. I won’t let anything happen to them.
Since Lucy and others keeps writing, I have decided I am going to just stick with giving advice.

Honestly, ‘Barking with Bogart’ is easier to say than ‘Bogarts Baby Birthing Services’

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