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Neutered not Tutored

Oh Bogart, Bogart, Bogart,
Have you no self esteem?
If your people want to chase a ball, send them to the golf
course. Real sport is chasing a cat!
I make points with my human by looking deep into her eyes
and holding her gaze. Try it, Sport!
~(signed) Sugar

Dear Sugar,
Thanks for writing. I will try your suggestion of looking into
their eyes. I’m not sure on the whole cat chasing thing. I’m
getting mixed messages. Should I chase them or should I love
them. One thing is for sure, cats are causing me a lot of grief.
My humans do need to get back to the golf course more. If they
were around here less, I would be able to take care of things
just fine. They just don’t trust me and I don’t like being on a
short rope at all. You can join my support group if you want,
you have some very good ideas.

Dear Bogart,
A little update about Roxy…..she is hard of hearing, she was
neutered not tutored, just as I thought. Fortunately she didn’t
come home with a plastic cone.
I read Lil Bit’s letter and I think that we are seeing a cat in
crisis! She may need the support group, too. Please reassure
her that I do think highly of myself, after all I am a great dog!
I appreciated your suggestion about putting my paw on the
scale when my human weighs in. This will probably result in
more walks which is a great idea.
Take care Bogart and keep the advice coming.
~Woof, Lucy
Dear Lucy,
Thanks for writing. Hope you’re not being put on a rope when
you go on those walks. It’s an awful experience. If they do, just
put your paws down and drag yourself and whine. That’s what
I had to do.
I’m not sure what to do with all of these babies. If I’m nice
to them I’m in trouble, if I chase them I’d be in trouble too.

You know what’s really unfair? Roxy and I both had to be neu-
tered, but somehow those cats got out of it. If my humans were
smarter, I wouldn’t be having all of these cat troubles. I guess
cat’s just get to have all of the fun.
I’m so depressed I’ll probably have to go on a diet next week
with you.
If only they’d give me another hot dog I could stop thinking about cats.

Sullenly signed, My Name is not NO Bogart

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