Support Group Needed

Dear Bogart (should there be a Humphrey in there?),
You sure have it bad with this cat deal, I know your pain. There are two cats here who think that I am theirs! They lie beside me and continue to rub up against me. What is a dog to do!
Well, I wanted to share with you my dog dilemma. My humans have put me on a diet! This certainly was not my idea. I rather enjoyed dining on cat food at my leisure, now the kitty bowls are beyond my reach. Believe me, there are no more plate licking sessions at my house either. The big guy used to give me a handful of doggie treats. My dog mom says no more. Now I am lucky if I get half of a dog biscuit and I am dining on low cal dog food which tastes like…..well, you get the idea.
I am wondering if we should form a support group. What are your thoughts?
Good luck with your kitten issues. ~Lucy

Dear Lucy,
Thanks for your letter. You are right. I was named after Humphry Bogart, our other dog was named Cooper after Gary Cooper. My humans aren’t very creative but at least I got named. They just call the house cat “Cat.”
I think a support group is a great idea. I’ve decided to try and help other pets, who like us, have humans that just don’t understand. I’m going to start a weekly column where other pets can write in and I’ll try and find some good advice or just listen. We pets have to stick together.
As far as your diet issue, I have an idea. Do your humans have grandkids? I find that children are always willing to share their food with me they don’t care about diets so much. Try and stay close to their feet and lay your head in their lap if they are eating outside. But don’t beg. Just give them puppy dog eyes and try and look sad. They fall for it everytime and they’ll think it’s their idea if you don’t beg.

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